Immortality

Who can believe it? Who can not believe it? I will end. I will turn to dust and be gone. As if it never happened. I will be oblivious to everything - light, sound, feelings. Bruised heart will refuse to beat again and everything will fade to black. Even marble tombstones will weather and no one will be able to read what may have long ago been chiseled there.

Or - something else? Say what you want to but my beloved brothers Gibb say it so well in their lyrics - "We don't say goodbye."

"So this is who I am,
and this is all I know.
And I must choose to live,
for all that I can give,
the spark that makes the power grow.

And I will stand for my dream if I can,
symbol of my faith in who I am,
but you are my only.

And I must follow on the road that lies ahead.
And I won't let my heart control my head.
But you are my only. "

B., M., & R. Gibb

You are my only one. Who is this "You" for me? I love my children as any devoted mother. I love my siblings. They've given me much of the joy in my life. I love my relatives, my dear aunts, uncles, cousins and Mother, who truly deserves every one of those silly "Best Mom in the World" shirts and mugs. Surely the "You" is not either of my errant former spouses. But why pretend? I do know. The You is the He - not only the One but actually the only One. The constant, caring, tender and truly present perfect Love of my life. Born in the Middle East through a mystical union of the Spirit of God and the flesh of men. And I, foolish yet sublime creation that I am , have been invited to a cosmic existence without end. Do I shout Thank You, Jesus!? Is that pentecostal paraphrase up to the task ? Absolutely not! But words will never do. The Bible says "My soul pants after Thee, like a deer panteth after the stream". That may be a little closer but how does the single puzzle piece find meaning outside of the puzzle? That is how I felt apart from You. If my eyes ever leave you, Lord tear them from me. If my feet ever stray from following you then let them burn. Oh yes, Lord. I can never understand this invitation. I've been spun into being like cotton candy on a paper stick. You knew me before I was born, wrapped my essence in blood and bone so that I might perform in this play of Yours.

There is movement behind the set, stage hands are moving props into place. You have set me in this time, this act, this scene. Will I perform well? I know You are staying to watch me and You'll be here for the end. Maybe I will, too. I will take my turn and retire. And when I put my head down - there You are! Lighting every dark corner, hovering near. Thank You for being my friend and companion. Sweet Savior thank You that it is not the way it seems to the blind and fickle world. Your reality is more sublime than any creation - light, color, music. And Robin Gibb's voice? Lord, thank You!

Blessings to all,

MME