TGIF

The end of the week draws near. And what have I done? I’ve learned of prayers, a crime, a miracle. I’ve worked hard and laughed a lot. There is something different about me this week. I’ve grown younger. I walk a path that seems made of golden stones. The God Who knows all and everyone, thinks of me. I was formed for His pleasure. Doting parents delight in the play and the progress of their children. What a precious thought – that the Most High God delights in me! Is there anyone else I need to please?

Isaiah 40:27-31 27 Why do you say, O Jacob, and complain, O Israel, "My way is hidden from the Lord; my cause is disregarded by my God"? 28 Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. 29 He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. 30 Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; 31 but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

Sarang hae - I love you (Korean)

Bring –

Sarang hae

Bring your fearful, trusting smile.

Bring your courage and transparency.

Bring your scars and hopes and history.

I will bring the pen

to write the last chapter.

I will bring the glass to mirror unfathomable joy

Bring your wing

And I, mine and

we will fly on the breath of love,

my gift in exchange for your treasure,

sharing all that was fashioned for sharing,

two vines of tender spring green

into this season of unfathomable joy.

There will be only one more sunset

and we will experience it together.

The purpose of souls

will be our story.

as I wait for you

2-2007

Lord, God, through tears, though I trust, though I throw myself upon Your mercies with joy and anticipation, can this dream be real? Lord, though I may be mocked and mistaken, You never, ever will. How have You given me this vision? Can this dried heart yet live again? If I have dared to believe You, will You make me your American Sarai? You have dared me to dream and how I dream, Lord! How I dream! I wait upon Your will with unfathomable joy.

Small World 2007

What joy! How small my world had been and I never knew it. Letters from Iwo Jima directed by Clint Eastwood is something Americans can be proud of. Its release perfectly fits the Lord's plan for my life at this particular phase of it. How very little I had understood about Eastern cultures. I had painted what I thought to be God's face with wide brush-strokes across the planet as I understood it. But God is capable of no less than an intricately detailed masterpiece on every level. How often I like to think what a great Christian I am, following Christ's footsteps as long as it doesn't interfere too much in what I've got going at the time. But really, when do I step out and challenge my own thinking? God loves every soul ever born, every face in every country. Haven't I said many times, like a mantra He loves rich and poor, black and white and on and on, and so I love them because I am commanded to. But can I love them as more than theory or cliche? Haven't I said, "Yes, yes, I love everyone", but inside think they are somehow less favored or of no real interest or consequence to me since they are not living within the golden shores of America? What a world I have missed! And how can I even paint with that wide brush the word "them" and mean, the rest of the world?

In His unfathomable wisdom and inexhaustible grace He has shown me so many wonderful things. So many of them in the last few months. The life given to each of us by our Father is like us giving crayons and paper to our kids. Whatever they do with them we will keep, just because our children did it. Do we choose to use our lives for fighting? Going outside the lines? Do we try to create works of art to please our Father? Iwo Jima. What is it? A part of Japan such as Colorado might be to us. From the comfort of my place in history I can only speculate about the feelings swirling at the time of the battle. The movie shows the battle from an unfamiliar viewpoint for most Americans. No doubt every battle is fought by people. Just people. Farmers, business people, taxi drivers and bakers. People who have lives apart from war. During this one life we're each given, we hope to experience peace and comfort outside of the horrid jaws of war. Every nation has its farmers and taxi drivers. "They" are "us". If you don't think so then give up all your favorite "foreign" foods. You are what you eat, Friends. Sushi, anyone?



Greetings of Peace and Friendship to All in 2007.

Maymont Italian gardens

God is like a Traffic Cop

"If you judge people, you don't have time to love them," Mother Teresa.

There really, really is a finite number of people who will come across your path in life. One day life ends for each of us. How many of the hurting, lonely, seeking souls who God sends your way will you have reached out to? Will you speak a kind word to someone on the days when you're in a good mood? When we are cranky or in pain ourselves do we feel under no special obligation to show God's unfailing love to others? Do you think Christ stopped loving when he was being scourged or mocked? Wow. Imagine a love that can reach out even when it is scorned and abused. That's the kind of love I'm talking about - the selfless, exquisite agape that transcends every other emotion - the love that truly makes the world go around.

Have I said a prayer for the masses today? Adopted a child through a Christian agency? Signed up for the bone marrow registry? If I do not learn this kind of love on earth how can I expect to spend eternity with angels and saints? What an awesome responsibility! The one kind word I say, just one smile might be the thing that convinces another soul that life may be worth one more day, one more try. I have no way of knowing the torment that someone I pass on the street is going through. I have no way of knowing when I entertain the most high God's messengers unawares. Here is wisdom: If drivers knew where the cops were hiding out nobody would get caught speeding. If I love the law, I needn't ever fear a ticket. If I love the least of His brethren then I'll show love for Him.

Send them down my road, Lord and never let me get caught putting up a detour sign whatever my mood or circumstance.

Peace,

Ki

10...9...8

Not quite ready for takeoff. Indicating interest in someone is a sore spot. On one hand playing this game is really the one way out of loneliness. On the other hand, it is a game. One that I loathe. Maybe I'm not alone in shunning the dating thing. Isn't pairing off the pay-off? An end to the single seeking whatever? Ugh! Eek! Makes me want to freak. One thing is it means reaching out. How do I know if someone is flirting? Haven't I forgotten how to play this infernal game? A life of watching Jeopardy alone and weekend volunteerism seems far preferable to these empty longings. So who needs to be a treasured partner, browsing antique shops and cooing over dinner, maybe discussing plans for the garden or redoing the patio?

Here's where the memory of a heartache sounds a screeching brake alarm in my head. He was a cool customer, a young man only marginally friendly, politely distant. He had a curious way of looking at a person through the corner of his eyes, without turning face to face when he spoke to you. It added some quality of drama. I was immediately distracted. Being the obsessive type, I sacrificed a semester to contemplations of wooing and winning the iceman. What kind of insecurity drives a person to pursue someone who isn't interested? "Sometimes your cards ain't worth a dime until you lay 'em down" - well so much for using Grateful Dead lyrics as life philosophy. When I informed my love interest of my devotion I was politely informed that he didn't feel the same way. However he thought spending the weekend in his room was probably a good idea. My own polite declining of his "offer" is one incident I recall with pride. Lovesickness is one thing. Slavery or rather, stupidity, is another.

And another man who I pursued despite all reason, the one who became ex-spouse number two? Oh yeah, he resembled the iceman to an uncanny degree. It was that looking out of the corner of his face thing. Be still my foolish heart! Ah, the unfathomable beauty of a pair of haughty green eyes, glistening with the ice of narcissism! Cut to the grand chase of love? Gag me! Abort countdown!

Agape!

MME

Far and Near

Feet on the ground, eyes toward the heavens. Stuck between heaven and earth.

Ephesians 2:17
He came and preached peace to you who were far away and peace to those who were near. 18 For through him we both have access to the Father by one Spirit. 19 Consequently, you are no longer foreigners and aliens, but fellow citizens with God's people and members of God's household, 20 built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, with Christ Jesus himself as the chief cornerstone. 21 In him the whole building is joined together and rises to become a holy temple in the Lord. 22 And in him you too are being built together to become a dwelling in which God lives by his Spirit.

What are the limits to God's Love? You're right - this is one of those hypothetical questions. And not even a cleverly disguised trick one - how can there be limits on God? The unbounded love that we've been hearing about and marveling over is real! What joy for us! Coming to understand just how this can be is one of the sublime discoveries of our journey. One of the first steps is the completion of human maturation - parenthood. To be a parent is to love unconditionally. We've all seen shows or heard news about the kid who goes awry trying to please his cold father or some other equally sad scenario. Unconditional love, like that of the ever sacrificing mother is the love of God reflected through our human frailty. What is unconditional? Not much these days. But one thing is certainly true. Unconditional love is God's plan for us and also His will for us. As we ascend that golden staircase, our eyes on Him alone we come to understand that turning the other cheek, offering up our tunic as well as our cloak becomes easier with practice but never loses its power to amaze even us who attempt to live the way of the Savior. That He has provided the bar to which we must attempt to reach is our belief. To see how high above our standards that bar is set takes a great swallow of pride.

To love those who wrong you is not the way of the world. It is the way of the Cross.

Be Blessed brothers and sisters,

Ki

TV Time Out

A minimalist reading of scripture will reveal that ABC's recent tv movie, The Ten Commandments was irreverent and inaccurate. I voted early (and I'm not talking about American Idol!) by turning the set off and refusing to see and therefore be influenced by any high dollar commercials during this shows airtime. The writers made up some interesting episodes of early meetings between the child Moses and his birth mother at the Egyptian princess' behest. This isn't mentioned in the Bible. What is mentioned however is a curse in Revelation which may or may not pertain to that one book or as some interpret, the entire Bible. The curse is for anyone who adds to or detracts from the sacred text. Now, my God is about love and mercy. I wouldn't want to get involved in any silly arguments about Him being powerful enough to make a rock even He couldn't lift but one thing God truly cannot do is go back on His word. Could there be trouble in ABC's future? I surely hope not because I just love the Extreme Home Makeover. They do such good work for such deserving people. I'm reminded presently thought that our good works are like filthy rags to the unfathomable grace of God. ABC - it's not hard to make a reverent Bible-based show that knowledgeable believers can enjoy. Just ask Mel Gibson how.

MME

HEADLINE: I Discover that Life really does go on.

I've been walking through a wood that began deeply shadowed but moved into more openness and I had been enjoying pleasant flashes of light through the leaves. Suddenly, the wood has given way to a clearing. In front of me spreading in all directions is a field with long waving grass and flowers. A shocking blue sky vaults overhead and the air has changed. It's cleaner now and breathing comes easier.

This is called self-discovery. Thank goodness my precious Father is holding my hand all the way or I would be frightened by this new freedom. Dearest Daddy! I'm gonna run now!

Be blessed!

Ki

Go and Sin no more.

My ex now has a new partner. The Lord in His infinite wisdom has answered my many prayers for Joe's recovery, but as usual - not in the way that I anticipated.

Lord, thank You for the light that reveals even harsh truths to me. I read recently that Truth is more important than facts and how profound this is. How peaceful the path that God has given to me even when it hurts to walk it. In the end we all must walk a path alone. Alone except for Him Who promised never to leave us. How much harder to be a man who has so much trouble communicating with himself. That you wanted to leave me is one thing, man. But that you'd loathe yourself for wanting to, that you'd harm yourself in order to do it - that serves no one.

1 John 1:8-9 8 If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. 9 If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

He is able to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. What comfort. Every one of us needs to step up and admit how much we need cleansing. Lord, take this victim mentality and use all of its power to weaken me and turn it as only You can to strength to do Your will, to finally paint the landscape of my life in Your colors. Yellow is for light, not for cowardice. Green is for growth, not jealousy. Blue is for the beautiful sky - Your promise of eternal life, not for depression. Your light - more brilliant and pure than any earthly experience and Your hand, as gentle as Jesus. To know myself might be a hurtful contemplation. But to know You is solace. You are the strong tower to which my whimpering heart can run.

Love to all,

Ki

Lesson

Well, here's the question: what's it about? Work? Do you work to pay bills? Then sleep. Make bills. Work to Pay bills, Sleep. Repeat endlessly. Do you feel like you're living if you throw in an occasional party, milestone, or vacation? Is it 'he who dies with the most toys wins?' Wins what? Unless you win eternal life then all the striving in this life is for nothing. So are you willing to sacrifice your life so that your kids can live off the fruit of your labor? Can that be it? The meaning of existence? Does that mean that the ultimate purpose is to have offspring who can afford to be lazy? Can it be that simple? That foolish? Is this time, the year 2006, the culmination of all the dreams and efforts of our ancestors? Has all of history struggled toward this moment - all the scientific study, all the wars, all the hopes and prayers led to the lives we are experiencing? And now that we stand here, enlightened, the crown of creation - what have we learned? Much? Nothing?

Step back. I believe the world has gone mad. I don't have to provide examples because you can think of several right now without any trouble at all. Chaos increases and joy seems to have vanished. Now more than ever we need to look toward the hills from whence cometh our help. Friend, mankind can only succeed if when you grab my tunic, instead of pulling it back, I hand you my robe as well. We can only survive if when you slap my face, I turn my head so you can slap the other side. "Pick up your cross and follow Me", my Master said. But it is not one simple journey. It is a new journey every day, every hour. If I, if you, my Brother and my Sister, if we cannot learn love in this lifetime then not only do we perish but our world perishes with us. If Christians who strive to do the will of God cannot be the light of Christ to a seeking, dying world then there will be no salt and no light. Your Spirit-inspired word might be the only thing between your fellow man and despair. One sentence, one word, one encouraging smile. One man does not win a war. But one man might turn the tide of a battle. And battles fought well do turn the course of a conflict. Let our willingness win one for the Lord in 2006. Pick up that cross anew and follow into battle the Lord Who promises victory through humility and love. Learn love.

In Christ,

Ki

Aren't You Tired of Loving Your Own Disease?

Well, aren't you? I'm not a saint. I'm a sinner. But I've found a way to live life without all the crap to drag me down. It's like taking a heavy, wet coat off when you come into the warm house. It's like climbing up out of a dank, deep well. I'm working through it. I'm listening. I don't know all the answers. But I know this one.

Forgive the oversimplification but we all get hurt in life. Nobody escapes. We get our toes stepped on, our bubbles popped, our feelings hurt, maybe even our noses punched, maybe worse. We get our hearts broken. And not just once. Some of us maybe even deserve some of the stuff that happens to us. Most of us just get taken once in a while, get blindsided by someone working through their own troubles, get stuff taken out on us when we're innocent. But remember how you couldn't get away with anything when you were a kid - because the parents (or grown ups) were watching? Dad is watching. It's going to be alright. It really is. He's got your back.

Most of the battle is against ourselves. Most of the hurt - we cause it ourselves because we're so sure we screwed everything up so we must deserve it. When stuff happens to you - well maybe it doesn't have anything to do with you not being smart enough or good enough to avoid it. Quit punishing yourself. Because you punish everybody else around you by weighing yourself down with yesterday's hurts. You're no good to yourself that way and you're sure not doing the world any good. And Babe, the world sure needs you to start doing some good. And if nobody loves you maybe you're just not seeing who does. Quit being so morbid. Remember being a kid - when work and money and relationships didn't matter? You could get excited by seeing a deer in the woods or getting an ice cream cone or get lost in a book. Life was good with simple stuff. Lighten up. It can be that way. You can rejoice. Try it.

What if you just walked away from whatever it is that's got you by the neck? I mean really. It's not impossible. You got there, right? You can go somewhere else. Drop it. Let it go. Even if it's grown up all around and through you like a vine - you can still get away. God is God - there's nothing He can't do. He can wither that thing that you think has got you in a stranglehold. Drugs, obsessions, self-destruction. Just look up out of that well. All you've got to do is ask Him. You won't feel any tingle or fire but you will be free. Every day you will make progress out of that hole. Just ask Him, man. Ask Him.

Aren't you tired of living in pain just because it's familiar?

Ki

February

I once read that more people die in February than in any other month of the year. If this is true - and I'm certainly not sure that it is - then it might be out of sheer desperation. Winter can be so long and dreary. The season of deepest gloom. Yet I remember stopping in late summer and just drinking in the sound of the crickets singing at night. I remember saying "In the winter I dream about this wonderful sound" and not just the sound, but the sweetness of the air and the soft caress of nightime breezes when even heartache seems soothed and life seems possible again. Summer will come. For now, let me contemplate, let me enjoy this season of pause, the lack of sounds, colors and scents. Like a neutral palette, let me gather thoughts of color and anticipate how the Lord will paint the new year for me. Spring will burst into life with joy and if You are willing, Lord - so will I. So will I.

I love You,

MME

Hello 2006

Lord, here I am in Your beautiful year of grace, 2006. You have started bright and early with Your showers of blessings on me. You told me to dream big but I never counted on the precious gift You've already sent. You are awesome! So much love! Things are changing even more quickly now. The changes over the past 2 years are things I had not seen on my horizon. But You had a plan and Your plan is perfect. I would ask for a blindfold, Jesus, so I could show You that I want to take Your hand and be led but I've got a feeling You want me to see all the wonder that's coming. Don't ever let me forget that You are in control. There will be blessings I know. I know I won't deserve them. I haven't deserved the mornings I've taken for granted all my life. I haven't deserved the sweet slumbers You've given every night. I don't deserve Your love. It's Your gift and I thank You for it. Thank you for 2006, Lord. It's a big splendid sunrise and a deep blue peaceful night. You are awesome and I am so grateful to be loved by You.

MME

Christmas 2005

Merry Christmas everybody. I was thinking about my daughter, the scientist and how at one point she attended church alone. (Yeah - I was lacking as a parent - or I was backsliding - I'm a sinner - no doubt) She was just a kid and she didn't need anybody to encourage or go with her. She wanted to find out about God on her own. Now, she wants to study conceptual physics. Science, to me, is just man trying to figure things out. Every scientist must come to the wall and that wall is either 1. something came from nothing or 2. something has existed forever. In my own foolish simplicity even I understand this truth. The answer? God. And not an infathomable careless God but a sweet father God. Boy, am I ever glad that this is the way of the world - the Way.

Christmas celebrates the real unfathomable - a love so big that it transforms. Transforms the world, transforms history, transforms lives. A God Who loves so much. Like an artist creating dolls, loving each one uniquely, an artist so skilled that He can give life to them. Lord, thank You for fashioning me with Your perfect artist hands and thanks for all the companions, too! The time is ripening when we'll all be gathered. I want to feel those big arms around me! Perfect Father, thanks for Christmas! You loved us so much that You started the whole thing. Every sunrise - Your Christmas gift to me! Every emotion - Your reminder that You gave me life! Every good and perfect gift is from You. And now! Now! 2006 to bring Your promise - Your miracle and Your reward to me! He gives beauty for ashes! Yes, Lord! Coolness!

Love, Ki

My Birthday Gift - Thanks Cuz!

Foot in Mouth Disease

OK. It’s the end of another day. I spent it just trying to get through, dealing with my fellow man and the world at large. Now I’ve got a moment to contemplate all the things I said today. I’ve done stupid things today and worse, said ridiculous things. What was I thinking? Whatever made me believe I was being clever? Polite smiles, small choked laughs of amusement. Are these people really agreeing with my inane blathering? Why didn’t I just stop talking? I don’t really have anything to say. Am I trying to fill all the silence because I’m trying to drown out thoughts? Why do I only now recall that even a fool is thought to be wise if he says nothing to prove the contrary?

Still I know You forgive me my faults, Lord even though I can’t fathom how I can stand myself one more minute knowing I have such a silly tongue, such a silly brain – You have a solution. You are the solution. You are sublime. When I think of you, Lord I think my best thoughts. What a mind stretch to try to think of the unbounded expanses of Your love and goodness! Please help me tomorrow, Lord since it’s too late for today. Please let me keep my thoughts and my river of silly words running in Your direction. If I can keep my thoughts on You then maybe my words would follow. Let me speak about You and there wouldn’t be foolishness in my speech. Your mercies are new every morning. How I count on that, good Father.

Give me pure and relevant words, Lord and give those I speak to poor memories for foolish chatter.

Goodnight.

Love, Ki

Love Defines Us

⁶ Place me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm; for love is as strong as death, its jealousy unyielding as the grave. It burns like blazing fire, like a mighty flame.

⁷ Many waters cannot quench love; rivers cannot wash it away.

Song of Solomon 8:6-7

From this almost safe distance I can begin to see the shapes and shadows of what I lived through. And here I am trying to get through each new day. Most days are filled (blessedly) with many things to do, many people to speak to and interact with. But once in a while, in contemplative moments, I recall how I felt. I remember the beautiful emotion of love, the fulfillment of having someone at my side. The trust, the pouring forth of my deepest thoughts and dreams. What of those feelings? What of those years? Now that it is over, what place do I give to them? They were real and like a lost child, they cannot be forgotten because they were a part of me and sometimes, I think, the best part. My love was good, very good. Two lives were born of it. And my own life – I became myself through the strength and experience of the love I gave. It must be then that giving equals growing.

Now I know for instance that few things in life are guaranteed. Maybe not everyone gets the opportunity to love so strongly that they are changed. Maybe we all do. Maybe it is a decision that each of us must make regardless of whether or not the object of our love returns our affections. One guarantee I can give you is – if you allow yourself to open your heart to another, you will be hurt. You will be disappointed. At some point you will cry if you are loving correctly. You will question whether it is worth the bare your heart to the knife of love. Open another box of tissue and keep crying, my friend. Love is worth the price. Love transforms you. The one you love may or may not come around, may or may not try to salve the wounds that they create but that is of little consequence ultimately. The love you give makes you bloom like the harsh wind and driving rain blooms the sweetest rose.

The love you gave honors your loved one whether or not they are deserving. The love you give or the love you gave should never be forgotten because it defines you. Because you have loved and been hurt makes you wiser but somehow softer. You are richer, more complex and majestic for having given it. Don’t forget the love you offered up regardless of whether or not it was abused or rejected. It was a product of your heart and is a part of your story. Remember it and treasure it because it came up out of you, your best effort, your sweetest gift. It is not the person you offered it to, it is the best part of you and was woven of hope and beauty. And know that is not the only work of art you are capable of.

Touch my heart, Lord and bring forth love. While they scourged and hurt You is when You said “Forgive them.” As I strive to follow You, this is an important work, to love those who don’t deserve love. And this does not mean to leave myself in harms way or continue to be hurt for no reason, but to extend forgiveness to understand that I can forgive myself as well. I need not look at the love I offer others as my own weakness or foolishness. It is love. It is the crown of all emotion. Let me wear it.

Ki

Not only Forgiveness

Forgiveness is not the goal, not the end of my journey in this, my greatest life lesson. Thank you, Father for putting light onto my next step. I think I’ve got this right. There is much more. If a Christian’s purpose is to reflect Christ then we must take our example from the books of His life. Jesus did not only say “Your sins are forgiven.” He went on to say, “And to prove that the Son of Man has authority to forgive sin…” and then He would heal them. They would see again, walk again, be clean again, be restored, renewed and run on their joyous way to tell the rest of the world what Jesus had done in their lives.

Why did I ever think that John’s words, “I must decrease and He must increase,” were spoken in sadness? Certainly, an imperfect being would be eager to step aside to let glory pass by. When every art I had could not help my husband, God in His infinite wisdom, took me out of the equation. I’m not foolish enough to believe that J will no longer remember the multitude of things I said and did to convince him that his way was incorrect. Despite all I have read, seen, heard, tried to discover about my husband’s ‘condition’, it returns as always to Jesus. And every tiny portion of this whole tangle must be nailed to the cross with Him or it isn’t going anywhere. I could start now and write a list of questions that would occupy many for many months. Decrease the "me" in me, Lord and increase the You.

As my daughter entered adolescence I told her. Darling, you are going through some changes. You’re going from a girl to a grown-up woman in the next few years. Try to remember that all of us around you are not changing. You are the one changing. So when it appears we have all become fools in your sight, trivial and not to be trusted or believed – please recall – we have not changed. You have. The same is true for our relationship with our perfect parent, the Lord. We go through our valleys, sometimes crying out to Him, sometimes trying to be tough and walk it alone. He’s always there to help even when we stubbornly try to go our own way. But can we say that we’re growing? Like an adolescent learning independence and responsibility, do we make progress toward a goal? A Christian’s goal is to “be perfect” or perfectly emulate Christ in our lives. Malachi 3:6 “ For I am the LORD, I change not;” God is the ultimate landmark, our True North. His children must go through a lot of changes on their journeys from selfish sinners to the selfless perfection of the Savior.

Forgiveness – not so long ago I thought this was some big deal of an accomplishment. Maybe something I could consider from the healing distance of a year of separation. Now, Lord, I know it is merely a beginning. How I marvel at the impossible expanse of Your beautiful love and acceptance. How did I live contented to keep You on the shelf? Oh, You are a jealous God – and how guilty I am of putting You low on my list in the past. Never be jealous again. Oh Father, because of Jesus I can cry out to You like any petted spoiled child. Father, be near to me because You love me inexplicably. Be near me because You are all there is in the world worth knowing. When I keep my eyes on You everything else becomes easy – just like You said it would. Forgiveness? If You say so, Father. Healing? If You will it, Father. Your will, Father because it’s Your world.

Ki

Second Childhood

OK – it’s almost Christmas. I’m supposed to be acting like a kid again. Except that I’m acting like the kid I used to be. Or to be specific, the kid I was before meeting the person who was to become my 2^nd ex. I’m listening to The Bee Gees, (maybe I was Saved by the Bell!) and Jane Oliver – when she first came onto the scene. I’m watching Magoo’s Christmas Carol and Emmett Otter (yea!) And I couldn’t be enjoying myself more! As my anger, hurt and disappointment start to mellow (doesn’t everything with age?) I find I am going back in time and rediscovering more than a few of my favorite things. What I like to do, listen to, watch on the television, wear. I’m like the proverbial kid in the candy store. I know it’s not supposed to be about me – except that the Lord really is letting me realize just what a wonderful life (hey, it’s Christmas!) I truly have. How often do we find ourselves obsessing over what we don’t have, what we want, and what we’ve had taken away? Maybe we’re acclimated to that kind of thinking since we hear only bad news on the radio and tv.

Sidebar comment : You know, I’ll tell you about the news. No wonder cars and trucks cost so much! I bet they can be made for about $500 buck a piece except for the mark-up dealers do to pay for the damned commercials. Man, all I want is to see if a frigging tornado is bearing down on my head or if there’s some stretch of highway blocked off for morning rush to work, and I’ve got to watch like a dozen car ads! Morning news, evening news and the news at 11 – same thing. Cars and trucks. All kinds of shots choreographed with precision driving and retro rock to make me feel like everybody my age drives such and such a model. All that advertising, all those prime time bucks. Don’t they know that if I need a car then I’ll start looking around. Do people really watch the ads and say “Hey cool! Let’s go drop 30K because I saw your zippy SUV and heard a soundbyte of some defunct rock band”? Whew. OK. Glad that’s off my chest.

Instead, let’s do what they say in the corny hippie slogans – stop and smell the flowers. (I can say this – I once almost was a hippie or at least I loved that Youngbloods song). Maybe a lot of this life is to like, BE God’s kids. Let’s smell the breeze and look at that nest in the tree or watch that hill of industrious ants. Wanna color a picture? Let’s make stuff with clay. Cheez – can you take that SUV with you into the great beyond? If you leave all your dough to your kids, can they find a way to deposit it on account for use in the next world? Relax already! Think about what made you happy before you discovered you were a grown-up. I once read that one of the most relaxing things you can do is to listen to a cat purr. Check that. I’ve gotta flush this stress. Here Kitty, Kitty, Kitty.

Peace, Man.

Ki