6 Place me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm; for love is as strong as death, its jealousy unyielding as the grave. It burns like blazing fire, like a mighty flame.
7 Many waters cannot quench love; rivers cannot wash it away.
Song of Solomon 8:6-7
From this almost safe distance I can begin to see the shapes and shadows of what I lived through. And here I am trying to get through each new day. Most days are filled (blessedly) with many things to do, many people to speak to and interact with. But once in a while, in contemplative moments, I recall how I felt. I remember the beautiful emotion of love, the fulfillment of having someone at my side. The trust, the pouring forth of my deepest thoughts and dreams. What of those feelings? What of those years? Now that it is over, what place do I give to them? They were real and like a lost child, they cannot be forgotten because they were a part of me and sometimes, I think, the best part. My love was good, very good. Two lives were born of it. And my own life – I became myself through the strength and experience of the love I gave. It must be then that giving equals growing.
Now I know for instance that few things in life are guaranteed. Maybe not everyone gets the opportunity to love so strongly that they are changed. Maybe we all do. Maybe it is a decision that each of us must make regardless of whether or not the object of our love returns our affections. One guarantee I can give you is – if you allow yourself to open your heart to another, you will be hurt. You will be disappointed. At some point you will cry if you are loving correctly. You will question whether it is worth the bare your heart to the knife of love. Open another box of tissue and keep crying, my friend. Love is worth the price. Love transforms you. The one you love may or may not come around, may or may not try to salve the wounds that they create but that is of little consequence ultimately. The love you give makes you bloom like the harsh wind and driving rain blooms the sweetest rose.
The love you gave honors your loved one whether or not they are deserving. The love you give or the love you gave should never be forgotten because it defines you. Because you have loved and been hurt makes you wiser but somehow softer. You are richer, more complex and majestic for having given it. Don’t forget the love you offered up regardless of whether or not it was abused or rejected. It was a product of your heart and is a part of your story. Remember it and treasure it because it came up out of you, your best effort, your sweetest gift. It is not the person you offered it to, it is the best part of you and was woven of hope and beauty. And know that is not the only work of art you are capable of.
Touch my heart, Lord and bring forth love. While they scourged and hurt You is when You said “Forgive them.” As I strive to follow You, this is an important work, to love those who don’t deserve love. And this does not mean to leave myself in harms way or continue to be hurt for no reason, but to extend forgiveness to understand that I can forgive myself as well. I need not look at the love I offer others as my own weakness or foolishness. It is love. It is the crown of all emotion. Let me wear it.
Ki
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