Maymont Italian gardens

God is like a Traffic Cop

"If you judge people, you don't have time to love them," Mother Teresa.

There really, really is a finite number of people who will come across your path in life. One day life ends for each of us. How many of the hurting, lonely, seeking souls who God sends your way will you have reached out to? Will you speak a kind word to someone on the days when you're in a good mood? When we are cranky or in pain ourselves do we feel under no special obligation to show God's unfailing love to others? Do you think Christ stopped loving when he was being scourged or mocked? Wow. Imagine a love that can reach out even when it is scorned and abused. That's the kind of love I'm talking about - the selfless, exquisite agape that transcends every other emotion - the love that truly makes the world go around.

Have I said a prayer for the masses today? Adopted a child through a Christian agency? Signed up for the bone marrow registry? If I do not learn this kind of love on earth how can I expect to spend eternity with angels and saints? What an awesome responsibility! The one kind word I say, just one smile might be the thing that convinces another soul that life may be worth one more day, one more try. I have no way of knowing the torment that someone I pass on the street is going through. I have no way of knowing when I entertain the most high God's messengers unawares. Here is wisdom: If drivers knew where the cops were hiding out nobody would get caught speeding. If I love the law, I needn't ever fear a ticket. If I love the least of His brethren then I'll show love for Him.

Send them down my road, Lord and never let me get caught putting up a detour sign whatever my mood or circumstance.

Peace,

Ki

10...9...8

Not quite ready for takeoff. Indicating interest in someone is a sore spot. On one hand playing this game is really the one way out of loneliness. On the other hand, it is a game. One that I loathe. Maybe I'm not alone in shunning the dating thing. Isn't pairing off the pay-off? An end to the single seeking whatever? Ugh! Eek! Makes me want to freak. One thing is it means reaching out. How do I know if someone is flirting? Haven't I forgotten how to play this infernal game? A life of watching Jeopardy alone and weekend volunteerism seems far preferable to these empty longings. So who needs to be a treasured partner, browsing antique shops and cooing over dinner, maybe discussing plans for the garden or redoing the patio?

Here's where the memory of a heartache sounds a screeching brake alarm in my head. He was a cool customer, a young man only marginally friendly, politely distant. He had a curious way of looking at a person through the corner of his eyes, without turning face to face when he spoke to you. It added some quality of drama. I was immediately distracted. Being the obsessive type, I sacrificed a semester to contemplations of wooing and winning the iceman. What kind of insecurity drives a person to pursue someone who isn't interested? "Sometimes your cards ain't worth a dime until you lay 'em down" - well so much for using Grateful Dead lyrics as life philosophy. When I informed my love interest of my devotion I was politely informed that he didn't feel the same way. However he thought spending the weekend in his room was probably a good idea. My own polite declining of his "offer" is one incident I recall with pride. Lovesickness is one thing. Slavery or rather, stupidity, is another.

And another man who I pursued despite all reason, the one who became ex-spouse number two? Oh yeah, he resembled the iceman to an uncanny degree. It was that looking out of the corner of his face thing. Be still my foolish heart! Ah, the unfathomable beauty of a pair of haughty green eyes, glistening with the ice of narcissism! Cut to the grand chase of love? Gag me! Abort countdown!

Agape!

MME

Far and Near

Feet on the ground, eyes toward the heavens. Stuck between heaven and earth.

Ephesians 2:17
He came and preached peace to you who were far away and peace to those who were near. 18 For through him we both have access to the Father by one Spirit. 19 Consequently, you are no longer foreigners and aliens, but fellow citizens with God's people and members of God's household, 20 built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, with Christ Jesus himself as the chief cornerstone. 21 In him the whole building is joined together and rises to become a holy temple in the Lord. 22 And in him you too are being built together to become a dwelling in which God lives by his Spirit.

What are the limits to God's Love? You're right - this is one of those hypothetical questions. And not even a cleverly disguised trick one - how can there be limits on God? The unbounded love that we've been hearing about and marveling over is real! What joy for us! Coming to understand just how this can be is one of the sublime discoveries of our journey. One of the first steps is the completion of human maturation - parenthood. To be a parent is to love unconditionally. We've all seen shows or heard news about the kid who goes awry trying to please his cold father or some other equally sad scenario. Unconditional love, like that of the ever sacrificing mother is the love of God reflected through our human frailty. What is unconditional? Not much these days. But one thing is certainly true. Unconditional love is God's plan for us and also His will for us. As we ascend that golden staircase, our eyes on Him alone we come to understand that turning the other cheek, offering up our tunic as well as our cloak becomes easier with practice but never loses its power to amaze even us who attempt to live the way of the Savior. That He has provided the bar to which we must attempt to reach is our belief. To see how high above our standards that bar is set takes a great swallow of pride.

To love those who wrong you is not the way of the world. It is the way of the Cross.

Be Blessed brothers and sisters,

Ki

TV Time Out

A minimalist reading of scripture will reveal that ABC's recent tv movie, The Ten Commandments was irreverent and inaccurate. I voted early (and I'm not talking about American Idol!) by turning the set off and refusing to see and therefore be influenced by any high dollar commercials during this shows airtime. The writers made up some interesting episodes of early meetings between the child Moses and his birth mother at the Egyptian princess' behest. This isn't mentioned in the Bible. What is mentioned however is a curse in Revelation which may or may not pertain to that one book or as some interpret, the entire Bible. The curse is for anyone who adds to or detracts from the sacred text. Now, my God is about love and mercy. I wouldn't want to get involved in any silly arguments about Him being powerful enough to make a rock even He couldn't lift but one thing God truly cannot do is go back on His word. Could there be trouble in ABC's future? I surely hope not because I just love the Extreme Home Makeover. They do such good work for such deserving people. I'm reminded presently thought that our good works are like filthy rags to the unfathomable grace of God. ABC - it's not hard to make a reverent Bible-based show that knowledgeable believers can enjoy. Just ask Mel Gibson how.

MME

HEADLINE: I Discover that Life really does go on.

I've been walking through a wood that began deeply shadowed but moved into more openness and I had been enjoying pleasant flashes of light through the leaves. Suddenly, the wood has given way to a clearing. In front of me spreading in all directions is a field with long waving grass and flowers. A shocking blue sky vaults overhead and the air has changed. It's cleaner now and breathing comes easier.

This is called self-discovery. Thank goodness my precious Father is holding my hand all the way or I would be frightened by this new freedom. Dearest Daddy! I'm gonna run now!

Be blessed!

Ki

Go and Sin no more.

My ex now has a new partner. The Lord in His infinite wisdom has answered my many prayers for Joe's recovery, but as usual - not in the way that I anticipated.

Lord, thank You for the light that reveals even harsh truths to me. I read recently that Truth is more important than facts and how profound this is. How peaceful the path that God has given to me even when it hurts to walk it. In the end we all must walk a path alone. Alone except for Him Who promised never to leave us. How much harder to be a man who has so much trouble communicating with himself. That you wanted to leave me is one thing, man. But that you'd loathe yourself for wanting to, that you'd harm yourself in order to do it - that serves no one.

1 John 1:8-9 8 If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. 9 If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

He is able to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. What comfort. Every one of us needs to step up and admit how much we need cleansing. Lord, take this victim mentality and use all of its power to weaken me and turn it as only You can to strength to do Your will, to finally paint the landscape of my life in Your colors. Yellow is for light, not for cowardice. Green is for growth, not jealousy. Blue is for the beautiful sky - Your promise of eternal life, not for depression. Your light - more brilliant and pure than any earthly experience and Your hand, as gentle as Jesus. To know myself might be a hurtful contemplation. But to know You is solace. You are the strong tower to which my whimpering heart can run.

Love to all,

Ki

Lesson

Well, here's the question: what's it about? Work? Do you work to pay bills? Then sleep. Make bills. Work to Pay bills, Sleep. Repeat endlessly. Do you feel like you're living if you throw in an occasional party, milestone, or vacation? Is it 'he who dies with the most toys wins?' Wins what? Unless you win eternal life then all the striving in this life is for nothing. So are you willing to sacrifice your life so that your kids can live off the fruit of your labor? Can that be it? The meaning of existence? Does that mean that the ultimate purpose is to have offspring who can afford to be lazy? Can it be that simple? That foolish? Is this time, the year 2006, the culmination of all the dreams and efforts of our ancestors? Has all of history struggled toward this moment - all the scientific study, all the wars, all the hopes and prayers led to the lives we are experiencing? And now that we stand here, enlightened, the crown of creation - what have we learned? Much? Nothing?

Step back. I believe the world has gone mad. I don't have to provide examples because you can think of several right now without any trouble at all. Chaos increases and joy seems to have vanished. Now more than ever we need to look toward the hills from whence cometh our help. Friend, mankind can only succeed if when you grab my tunic, instead of pulling it back, I hand you my robe as well. We can only survive if when you slap my face, I turn my head so you can slap the other side. "Pick up your cross and follow Me", my Master said. But it is not one simple journey. It is a new journey every day, every hour. If I, if you, my Brother and my Sister, if we cannot learn love in this lifetime then not only do we perish but our world perishes with us. If Christians who strive to do the will of God cannot be the light of Christ to a seeking, dying world then there will be no salt and no light. Your Spirit-inspired word might be the only thing between your fellow man and despair. One sentence, one word, one encouraging smile. One man does not win a war. But one man might turn the tide of a battle. And battles fought well do turn the course of a conflict. Let our willingness win one for the Lord in 2006. Pick up that cross anew and follow into battle the Lord Who promises victory through humility and love. Learn love.

In Christ,

Ki

Aren't You Tired of Loving Your Own Disease?

Well, aren't you? I'm not a saint. I'm a sinner. But I've found a way to live life without all the crap to drag me down. It's like taking a heavy, wet coat off when you come into the warm house. It's like climbing up out of a dank, deep well. I'm working through it. I'm listening. I don't know all the answers. But I know this one.

Forgive the oversimplification but we all get hurt in life. Nobody escapes. We get our toes stepped on, our bubbles popped, our feelings hurt, maybe even our noses punched, maybe worse. We get our hearts broken. And not just once. Some of us maybe even deserve some of the stuff that happens to us. Most of us just get taken once in a while, get blindsided by someone working through their own troubles, get stuff taken out on us when we're innocent. But remember how you couldn't get away with anything when you were a kid - because the parents (or grown ups) were watching? Dad is watching. It's going to be alright. It really is. He's got your back.

Most of the battle is against ourselves. Most of the hurt - we cause it ourselves because we're so sure we screwed everything up so we must deserve it. When stuff happens to you - well maybe it doesn't have anything to do with you not being smart enough or good enough to avoid it. Quit punishing yourself. Because you punish everybody else around you by weighing yourself down with yesterday's hurts. You're no good to yourself that way and you're sure not doing the world any good. And Babe, the world sure needs you to start doing some good. And if nobody loves you maybe you're just not seeing who does. Quit being so morbid. Remember being a kid - when work and money and relationships didn't matter? You could get excited by seeing a deer in the woods or getting an ice cream cone or get lost in a book. Life was good with simple stuff. Lighten up. It can be that way. You can rejoice. Try it.

What if you just walked away from whatever it is that's got you by the neck? I mean really. It's not impossible. You got there, right? You can go somewhere else. Drop it. Let it go. Even if it's grown up all around and through you like a vine - you can still get away. God is God - there's nothing He can't do. He can wither that thing that you think has got you in a stranglehold. Drugs, obsessions, self-destruction. Just look up out of that well. All you've got to do is ask Him. You won't feel any tingle or fire but you will be free. Every day you will make progress out of that hole. Just ask Him, man. Ask Him.

Aren't you tired of living in pain just because it's familiar?

Ki

February

I once read that more people die in February than in any other month of the year. If this is true - and I'm certainly not sure that it is - then it might be out of sheer desperation. Winter can be so long and dreary. The season of deepest gloom. Yet I remember stopping in late summer and just drinking in the sound of the crickets singing at night. I remember saying "In the winter I dream about this wonderful sound" and not just the sound, but the sweetness of the air and the soft caress of nightime breezes when even heartache seems soothed and life seems possible again. Summer will come. For now, let me contemplate, let me enjoy this season of pause, the lack of sounds, colors and scents. Like a neutral palette, let me gather thoughts of color and anticipate how the Lord will paint the new year for me. Spring will burst into life with joy and if You are willing, Lord - so will I. So will I.

I love You,

MME

Hello 2006

Lord, here I am in Your beautiful year of grace, 2006. You have started bright and early with Your showers of blessings on me. You told me to dream big but I never counted on the precious gift You've already sent. You are awesome! So much love! Things are changing even more quickly now. The changes over the past 2 years are things I had not seen on my horizon. But You had a plan and Your plan is perfect. I would ask for a blindfold, Jesus, so I could show You that I want to take Your hand and be led but I've got a feeling You want me to see all the wonder that's coming. Don't ever let me forget that You are in control. There will be blessings I know. I know I won't deserve them. I haven't deserved the mornings I've taken for granted all my life. I haven't deserved the sweet slumbers You've given every night. I don't deserve Your love. It's Your gift and I thank You for it. Thank you for 2006, Lord. It's a big splendid sunrise and a deep blue peaceful night. You are awesome and I am so grateful to be loved by You.

MME